Continuaton of The Buffy Horror T.V. Show
by Magenta1
Summary: Buffy, Spike and the rest of the scoobies are still stuck in Rocky Horror. More old characters come back! Please read my 1st link with the 1st 4 chapters before you read this one. PLEASE REVIEW!!!


Scene 11: Creating "Rocky"

(Spike, Drusilla, Willow, Buffy and Xander have just taken the elevator up to the lab. In

this scene, Angel has a speech, but is very unfamiliar with it. He asks Spike to make him notecards with the EXACT lines. Spike decides to have a little fun with this task). 

Angel: Magenta (Drusilla looks around bewildered. Angel clears his throat. She just looks at him with a blank expression)

Spike: Step forward, love.

Drusilla: Ohhhhhh, right. I'm Magenta!

Angel: (Shakes his head. Looks as if he has a really bad headache)

Columbia (Willow steps forward), go assist Riff Raff. I will entertain.... eh heh heh.

Xander: (Steps forward and shakes Angel's hand.) Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee Janet "Vice."

Buffy: Weiss.

Spike: Summers.

(Angel ignores the comment)

Angel: Enchante

(Buffy giggles. Spike rolls his eyes.)

Angel: Well! How nice.   
And what charming underclothes you both have.  
But here. Put these on.   
They'll make you feel less vulnerable.   
(Chorus giggles)

It's not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer  
them... hospitality   
Brad: Hospitality!?   
All we asked was to use your telephone,  
g_d dammit, a reasonable request which you've chosen to ignore.  
Buffy : Brad, don't be ungrateful.  
Anya: Grateful! You should sue!  
Brad: (Removes glasses with anger in a quick motion)Ungrateful!   
Anya: Yeah, tell him honey! 

Angel: (Very sarcastic) How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... dominant  
(crowd has flurry of laughs. Spike laughs uncontrollably and falls on the floor and falls on his ass).

Spike: Ow! Why am I so damn clumsy? Doesn't anybody mop in this place? Whose job is it to clean the floors, anyway?

Angel: Yours and Magenta's, you idiot!

Spike: Oh, well we're not doing a very good job.

(One member of the chorus looks close at Xander. He gets very self conscious and closes his lab jacket)  
Angel: You must be awfully proud of him, Janet.  
Buffy : Well, yes I am.   
Spike: Why?

Buffy: Because he's my little sweetie.

Xander: (Embarrassed) Well, I....

Buffy: Your my little honey bear, Brad.  
Xander: Oh gosh.

Spike: Oh gross!

Anya: Oh no!

Angel: (Very angrily)Oh, let's get on with it!

(Everyone shuts up. Angel continues playing his part)

Do you have any tattoos, Brad?   
Brad: Certainly not!  
Angel: Oh well, how about you.   
Buffy : No. (giggling)  
(It's silent for a very awkward minute. Once again, Spike has forgotten his lines. Finally, he realizes they're all waiting for him)

Spike: Everything is ready. Let's get a move on it already! We're waiting for you to say something already.   
Angel: (Mutters to himself) And that's the CLOSEST he's come to remembering his lines!  
(Angel hands wine glass to Spike and spills a little on him).

Spike: Damn it, that was a brand new suit!  
Angel: (Mutters) Just wait until this scene is over.

Spike: (Thinks to himself) Oh, you think I'm annoying now? Just wait Angel, just wait...  
Angel: (Takes out the cards Spike has written for him. Spike chuckles) Tonight, my unconventional conventionalists... you are about to  
witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research (thinks to himself "wow, it's good so far." continues)... and paradise is to be mine! (audience claps)...It was strange the way it happened... I was walking outside in my thong when I saw him. That vampire with the hot little body and the bleached blond hair. I knew that he was smarter and a better fighter when....(Angel realizes that he's got the wrong words written down and his face starts to change)  
Buffy: Oh my g_d, his face is doing that creepy thing again!  
Spike: Relax, Frank. Here's your REAL speech.

(At this point, Angel was ready to kill Spike right then and there. However, it was too late to get rid of him. Instead, he'd try to get along with him.)

Angel: Thank you, Riff Raff. Sorry everyone. It was an April fool.

Buffy: But it's December.

Angel: Listen, blondy. (Calms down). Um, it's an early celebration.

Buffy: Ohhhhh.  
Angel: Now, I will continue. (He reads the new copy Spike gave him). It was strange when it happened. When I discovered the secret, that I'm gay. Wait, that's not right either!

Anya: Screw the speech, you putz!  
Angel: (Remembers the very end of speech and says it)  
You see, you are fortunate for tonight is the night  
that my beautiful creature is destined to be BORN!  
(Buffy claps, Xander grabs her hands.)  
(Drusilla and Willow take hold of the cloth)  
Angel: Up now!  
Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator... and step the reactor power input  
THREE MORE POINTS!  
Spike: Hey, I don't like being ordered around, "Frank." Please respect my rights and ask me!  
Buffy : He does have a point. No one likes a meanie.

Anya: Slut!  
(Angel continues and begins bringing to life "his creation")

Buffy: Oh, Brad!

Xander: It's all right, Janet.  
(colorful fluids, etc. in order Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue,  
Indigo, Violet, etc. Angel just twists them, not actually having any idea what they do and cursing Spike off under his breath. Spike is just laughing in the background.) 

(At this point, the bandaged figure has been brought to life. Angel really gets into character, and gets very excited. He kicks Spike in the ribs and grabs the wheel he was turning and continues to do so. The creation is slowly brought to the fllor)

Angel: Oh, Riley!

Scene 12: Oh, I can make you a man.

(Riley is wearing nothing more than gold hot pants. Buffy and Xander just stare at him in utter astonishment [remember, they're playing a couple of squares. Besides, that's still a pretty shocking site]. He sings his song SWORD OF DAMOCLES while Angel chases him all over the lab. This makes Angel tired. Spike, Drusilla and Willow do a little dance when this is happening, and guess what? Spike falls on his ass again! )

Spike: Oh, bloody hell! Dru... I mean Magenta, that's it! We're getting the mop!

Willow: But when you use a mop, you make the floor wet. That'll make you even more likely to fall.

Spike: Sod off, bitch! I'll ask your advice when I want it.

Willow: Hmph! (Mumbles under her breath) If Riff had just went to college... 

(Spike rolls his eyes and grabs Drusilla by the arm. He goes with her to fetch some towels.)

Angel: Well..... (Awkward Silence) Um Columbia, what do you think of him?

Willow: Well, according to my book on the human body, his brain is not proportional to the rest of his body and his, um "package" is a little miniscule to the rest of his....

(Angel cuts her off)  
Angel: English and without the painful details!

Willow: He's okay.

Angel: Okay? OKAY! Well, I think we can do better than that ! (Drags Riley to Buffy and Xander) Brad and Janet, what do you think of him?

Buffy: (Tries to think of a response that wouldn't hurt Xander's feelings)

Well, I don't like men with too many muscles.

Anya: Bullshit!

Buffy: Goodness gracious, what was that yelling?

Angel: Um, yelling? I didn't hear any yelling. (Remembers next line and says it in a sly tone) I didn't make him for you!

Buffy: (gasps)

(Angel looks at his cards with his lines and doesn't believe Spike wrote them correctly)

Angel: Charles Atlas, who the hell is he? (Thinks to himself) Ahhh, it must really be Prince Charles. Well, Spike won't fool me!

Angel: He carries the Prince Charles seal of approval!

(Everyone stares at him blankly)

Xander: Um, was that supposed to be a joke?

Angel: Oh, just let me sing my song to Ri... I mean Rocky.

I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN

(By now, he's given up with the cards Spike gave him. Luckily for him, he's more familiar with this song than his speech. He also refuses to pay attention to the rest of the stupid comments everyone makes. he'll get his revenge...)

Angel: A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds

Will get sand in his face

When kicked to the ground,

And soon in the gym with a determined chin,

The sweat from his pores as he works for his cause

Anya: Hey, that doesn't rhyme! 

Angel: Will make him glisten and gleam.

And with massage, and just a little bit of (Points to Riley, but refuses to actually run his fingers near his manhood. Simply points to his nose instead) steeaaam,

He'll be pink and quite clean

He'll be a strong man. Oh honey...

All: But the wrong man.

Anya: Nah, you can have him.

Angel: He'll eat nutritious high protein,

And swallow raw eggs...

Willow: Can't you get salmonella from that? 

Angel: Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and... legs.

Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.

In just seven days...

I can make you a man.

He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups

Do the smearch, clean and jerk.

Anya: What's a smearch, and how do you do it clean and jerk? 

Angel: He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work.

Such strenuous living I just don't understand,

When in just seven days, ...oh baby, ...I can make (Puts hands on his hips) you a man.

(There's a beeping sound coming from the freezer. It breaks open, and Oz comes out of it wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle. He has icicles on his nose)

Willow: Eddie!

(Drusilla and Spike walk in just as Oz bursts out of the freezer)

Spike: Hey, did I miss something? (remembers the movie and knows what happens next) Oh great, more of a mess to clean up! oh, bloody hell!

(Slips on a chunk of ice)

Spike: Ow!


End file.
